Equally Shared Parenting: Rewriting the Rules for the next generation of parents
Not so long ago, while listening to a podcast about personal finance, the hosts of the show mentioned this book. I don’t quite remember their reason behind bringing it up but seeing as I was about to become a parent, I figured this would be a good starting point into the vast category of parenting books. After reading the first few pages, the authors made it clear that this was not a book about teaching different parenting styles.
Equally Shared Parenting written by Marc and Amy Vachon, is about taking what we perceive as societal norms and tossing them out the window in exchange for something better. As I continued reading, it became clear that most couples end up falling into the stereotypical family structure, meaning dads are the primary breadwinners and moms take a back seat in their career to take care of the children and the house. Yet there is a growing movement of “unconventional” parents who have adopted a different system of coparenting that revolves around ownership and an equitable division of responsibility.
The authors state that they split up their lives into four domains: childcare, house work, career, and personal time. By having these different areas defined, a couple can begin to see where they each spend their time and work towards creating balance. With this system, a father can do more than what’s expected of him, while benefiting by spending more time with his kids. Alternatively, a mom can have a meaningful work life and enough time for herself too.
Throughout the book many of the couples that were interviewed mentioned the joy of being at home more and having confidence that whoever is with the kids is fully capable of handling any situation that may arise. Even though there are many followers of the movement, one thing is common between all of them, each have their own way of following through on their plans. As we are all unique, the way we would go about being equal parents will also be unique to each couple.
After completing the book my wife and I have sat down to communicate more about our goals in each of these domains have have found some of the groundwork laid by other couples very useful. We will definitely make our own mark on the equally shared parenting framework to fit our needs but I find that this book will help others who want to achieve the same balance in their lives. Besides, who doesn’t want to spend more time with their family and be with someone who can bring as much to the table as you do.
That’ll wrap up this post but be sure to check out my other posts on the site. Below will be a link to find the book on amazon but feel free to check out other booksellers as well. As always, thanks for reading!